This article is not specifically speaking to Internet Marketers or Large Corporation Executives or Small Business Professionals…
…this article is the culmination of a series of thoughts I’ve had that I felt compelled to share with you.
Trust is a Gift
In life, trust is a very important topic.
I want my wife to trust me. I want my wife to feel secure in our relationship, in my love and devotion for her, that I will do everything I can to make our life successful and happy and that I will always be there to support her… I want my wife to trust me.
I want my business partners and colleagues to trust me. I want business partners and colleagues to believe in the work I do, that the team’s success is a priority in my life and the sacrifices we’ve all made to move our business forward will not be in vein…
I want my business partners and colleagues to trust me.I want my friends to trust me. I want my friends to understand our relationship comes without judgement, that in times of need I’m here to help where I can and that the gifts of friendship come without expectation of reciprocation… I want my friends to trust me.
I want my clients to trust me. I want my clients to believe that I always have their best interests at heart, that I own every decision I make and that their success is my first priority… I want my clients to trust me.
But trust is a gift given… Trust cannot be built, created or manufactured. (Click to Tweet)
My want of trust does not trust create.
Trust is Earned
The decisions you make in life earn the gift of trust.
It’s not what we say… It’s what we do. It’s how we handle the relationships in our lives. It’s how we reaction to situations both in victory and defeat that define who we are and our trustworthiness.
Trust cannot be built…
Trust is not a business. Trust is not a house. Trust is not a website or blog.
Trust cannot be created…
Trust is not a story. Trust is not an idea. Trust is not an experience.
Trust cannot be manufactured…
Trust is not a product. Trust is not a service. Trust is not a commodity.
Trust is a Gift
I become disheartened when I read articles Online about “10 Methods to Create Trust” and “5 Best Trust Building Strategies”. I know it’s not the author’s intention to diminish the importance of trust, but the language commoditizes trust nonetheless.
To a certain extent I know this article sounds like an argument in semantics… But I’m a firm believer that semantics in context, when dealing with issues of relationship and emotion, are important… More than important… Vital.
So try this on for size… Take a bite of this apple and let me know how it tastes…
You cannot build, create or manufacture trust and you certainly never deserve trust… You earn trust and when the time is right trust is given as a gift.
Appreciate that gift.
Trust is a gift you must cherish… For it can never be given twice.
Thank you,
Ryan H.
Speak Your Mind: I’d love to hear your opinions, thoughts, beliefs on Trust and it’s role in our lives both personal and business?
Thank you for such an insightful blog post, Ryan. We hear this time after time that trust is key to any relationship, but how often are we investing the time to build it?
I like how you started off with your wife and slowly turned to a business relationship. After all, it’s all about partnership, and being interdependent.
“Trust is a gift you must cherish… For it can never be given twice.” – Well said!
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Thank you Fatima!!
Trust is the gift that keeps on giving… It’s a asset unlike any other. I appreciate your thoughts and support!
Ryan H.
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I love this post. It seems as though the topic of trust has really been making the rounds around the interwebs and several of my friends have explored it on their blogs as well as on Facebook. The majority of people say that trust cannot be regained, but they confuse trust with forgiveness. We forgive for ourselves and as a gift to the other person, we give them another chance. If they foul up again… well, then we forgive again – but we also take a lesson from it.
If we are passionate about our business, it becomes an extension of the person. Touch my business and you touch me. It is often a fine line.
Lizette,
“Touch my business and you touch me.” That is a great line.
Thanks for the sharing!
Ryan H.
Trust is critical for any endeavor and I agree that is truly a gift. Whether trying to build a business or develop a relationship, building a level of trust only happens when the other person GIVES their trust to you. I like the fresh perspective.
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Alan,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts… Appreciate it buddy.
Ryan H.
Oh, Ryan – I love this! First of all, semantics does matter. Some things should be sacred and not commoditized, and clearly this is one of the sacred for you.
Any thoughts on how trusting oneself relates to trusting others or having others trust you? That’s where I’ve been focused lately, and now I’m wondering if there’s a connection.
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Sarah,
I absolutely think there is a connection because your relationships with others always starts with the relationship you have with yourself.
Thanks!!!
Ryan H.
I’m going to be a bit of a contrarian with this. Call me soft but I believe in basic human good nature. I have a tendency to trust from the start. I think however it is more lost than won. You have one chance, call it an audition, if you make a mess of it, that’s it.
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Mike,
That’s an interesting take… so you think that more often than not Trust is given initially no matter what and then lost based on Actions versus being earned over time?
Very interesting…
Thanks for the thoughts!
Ryan H.
Hey Ryan. Good stuff my friend.
Trust is one of those crucial elements that never really gets talked about. But so critical to the foundation (or lack-thereof) of any relationship.
I like the way you think…
Eric
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Thanks Eric!!
I appreciate you stopping by buddy.
Have a great weekend.
Ryan H.
Hi Ryan,
I really enjoyed this post, like everyone else on the planet I’ve trusted and been let down, and I’ve betrayed others trust whether by accident or design (not proud of that last bit, I was a lot younger back then!)
Re-building trust can happen, but why go down that route? We might not be able to be all things to all people but when we are honest about who we are and what we can do we allow trust to be built on a solid foundation.
I want to be trusted, so I am trustworthy. And I don’t promise what I know I can’t deliver.
I’ll be sharing this post as I really think your message is very important.
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Thanks Gemma and I really appreciate your thoughts and candor.
I completely agree with you that we cannot be all things to all people. If we’re true to our own failings then we can be honest with our ability.
Thank you!
There’s a quote by Lao Tzu that says “He who does not trust enough will not be trusted.”
I agree that trust is earned. I also believe that you need to enter into a relationship (business or personal) with trust for trust to be reciprocated. That’s why it’s so difficult to work with someone who’s been burned by a previous business partner or date someone who’s been cheated on. They approach new relationships with distrust and apprehension which the other party picks up on. This creates tension that’s hard to overcome.
While I’m not advocating blindly trusting someone, I am saying that you should at least start by giving them the benefit of the doubt … innocent until proven guilty.
Competition does not have to adversarial, business does not have to be cut-throat, and love does not have to be a battlefield for all those involved if we all go in with a little trust.
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Jeanne,
I love all your thoughts… Especially that last paragraph. I couldn’t agree with you more!
Thank you!
Nice Post, Gaining trust of your clients is a major step in online business and it does require lot of consistent effort and integrity. Maintaining that trust is even harder as you need to make sure all your action comply to your working integrity.
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Right on Sanjeev!
People relate to you because you maintain a level of integrity. You then can’t resort to shady dealings just as a way to take advantage of that trust.
Thanks!
Ryan,
I agree with the fact that trust is earned. I think it’s earned over the long term with repeated follow-up, follow-through and good intentions. I usually give more than I ask for in return. The fact is, trust may feel “broken” by one side of the equation. It may happen because people have different expectations, people are demanding or because someone screws up (on occasion). I think that happens but if we have a 99% trust record (like a 99% uptime for a server) we do need to move forward. We can’t repair everything or turn back the clock. Keep being trustworthy and 99% of the time it’ll be appreciated!
Thanks for the great post!
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Tom,
Absolutely! You make a great point. Things are going to happen in a relationship and sometimes Trust is broken no matter what.
But dedication to a Trustworthy life will yield more worthwhile relationships than not.
Thanks!!
Trust is organic and is the result of your congruency with deeds, words and actions. Each individual has their own measure of trust which cannot be rushed, cajoled or forced. I agree Ryan Trust is a gift that should always be appreciated fully.
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Thanks Jackie!! I’m right there with you!
Have a great week.
Wow this is a really great article. You should always be honest and truthful in everything you do in your life. In a business sense I just recently read “The Millionaire Mind” and it was saying the trait that all multi-millionaires share is integrity. They didn’t get to where they are at and stay their by cheating people or lying.
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Steven,
That is a great point… People can rise quickly with shady dealings but in order to stay on top you Integrity is of the utmost importance… The shoe always drops…
Thanks!!
This relates to so much for me…currently, more off-line than anything.
About 6 months ago I trimmed up my consultancy to be a side-gig and I hopped on the corporate train. My welcomes were warm, this particular organization, admittedly, hadn’t had anyone with my skillset and they seemed eager to let me get to work.
Then it happened…
Obstacle after obstacle. Folks didn’t seem to want to follow my experiences or try what I’d been suggesting.
Then it hit me…
No one trusted me yet. And that was going to take some time. And who knows how long it would take (and it may never happen at all), but just knowing that eased my mind and helped me refocus my role here.
Nice reaffirming/relateable post here, Ryan.
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Thanks Dave and your experience is so applicable.
Great advice is only great advice if the person listening believe the advice to be great.
I wish you the best in your new endeavor!
Ryan H.
Neil,
I completely agree… Losing the trust of your clients is a very slippery slope. Trust is a business’s most valuable asset.
Thanks!
Good post, we who work online must establish and maintain trust no matter what. If you break trust with a customer you may as well close up shop.
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